Fearless

Written by Jeremy M. Green
Photography by Sean Benesh

It’s unsettling. An empty stomach and sweat on parts of your body that probably hadn’t felt it in quite some time. Your heart is racing, as time is likely a little slower. You’re feeling fear, and it is strong. This is you reacting to a situation that could potentially bring your life harm, whether physically, emotionally, financially, or even worse, socially. Welcome to the club of misfits, afraid to stand out from the norm, afraid to be who they really are. In the world, no other driver is greater than fear, even love cannot compare to the fortitude that impedes our brains. For many of us, this is not a new feeling, just one that we would like to avoid. We’ve all been inside that room full of people you have to speak to face to face with that fear that has seemingly haunted us for as long as we can remember. For many of us, handling fear has been an afterthought, so much that we avoid any and all situations that are sure to bring us that deep heartbeat we tend not to miss, and eventually anxiety.

“Fear is the trigger to what ails us—an idea, an animal, a scenario. It is our bodies’ response to the novel situation in our otherwise consistent lives.”

It has become our definition; we are every single one of our fears cloaked in the comfort and complacency of those fears. Because of this, we recognize them as such and, much worse, choose to let them remain as the definition to who we are. The very thought of them presents even the sharpest mind with anxiety. Fear has the power to fill your mind with endless opportunities; scenarios that could make you the next Beyoncé or the individual with a great deal of talent and potential but no momentum. They are all fears, you see. The mind tends to create the extreme of these scenarios, both striking that familiar feeling of fear. Let’s face it; we’d all love to have the success and career of an artist like Kanye, Beyoncé, Nick Knight or someone we have admired for a long time. Alternatively we’d all hate to be considered unsigned hype, or much worse, wasted talent. Those two paradigms are actually preventing you from being exactly whom and what you want to identify with. From a worldly standpoint, every one has been given a gift. A passion that makes us feel like time is not a virtue. You could be a talented painter, DJ, writer, or even business professional. However, many of us are in situations where we are afraid to identify with what it is we’d prefer to be doing. Simply, we are afraid to call ourselves a painter, DJ, or writer, because that’s not a real job, right? And suddenly that idea you had about being a successful individual in a creative space is met by the fears explained in a complex society. Imagine having to explain yourself to a stranger, that you are a writer, I have. Now if only that conversation ended there all would be well. Unfortunately the nature of curiosity does not work that way. Your new interviewer now takes interest in what you have produced in a body of work. I had always experienced fear when replying, “I am working on my book”, because judging eyes tell more than lips do. How can you be a writer if you’ve never published anything? How can you be a fashion designer and not be wearing your own collection? It’s simple, I had to start somewhere, and I had to listen to the replies and the sounds of the judging “ahhs” and “cools”, in order to embrace my own fears.

To be even more realistic, you will fail more times than you will succeed! It is an essential part of the growing process. In fact you should expect to fail and fail often, because if you’re not failing, you’re either not doing it right, or not doing it at all. Nobody does things to perfection. I wish I could say that wasn’t the case, but even as a self-proclaimed perfectionist I realize the stagnant fear in wanting to make something perfect. Instead, I, as you should, seek to fail and have the patience to introspect on what it is you can do differently from that learned experience. Oftentimes failure comes in a different form than just a crushing defeat. It usually comes when we don’t achieve the highest goal we set out for ourselves. Just because your standard was not met the first time, does not mean you should quit; this should be your fuel, your ammunition. Always be learning, even from your failures. There are no days off when working on you.

“Changing your view of fear is only half the battle, but arguably the most important. You cannot set out to achieve your goals if you are stuck in a rut of complacency bred by fear.”

As a motivated individual, it will always seem like you should be further than where you are; sit that notion aside. In other words detach yourself from the big picture. It may be doing more harm than good for your fears. Don’t get me wrong it’s perfectly fine to have a goal set high, however, do not attach yourself to that goal or the perceived road it will take to get there. You are doing yourself no favors, as the journey will always be a product of your willingness to be prepared and well practiced. You have to plan! You have to create small measureable milestones; even if they are difficult you will learn to readjust the goal and the plan. Having a plan helps keep the focus when it gets hard, and yes it will be very hard. You will want to give up, until you are able to reflect on your plan and the smaller milestones that you have achieved so far. It’s important to always have a plan, even those with a great level of natural talent should create effective plans; they are no exception.

It takes a certain level of confidence in yourself to want to proceed after these interactions. Fear has such an amazing power to either motivate or create complacency in our lives; it truly is the driver for what we shall be. I, like anyone setting out to achieve any sort of goal, had to learn how to handle fear.

You have to ask yourself, is this what you really want? Handling fear is a patient process, one that takes confidence, consistency, a shifting mindset and most importantly, conscience execution. In order to do this, you must first change how you view fear. How you approach fear is equally as important as recognizing its presence. When it comes down to overcoming the fear of judgment, or rejection, or failure, you have to realize that it is an inevitable aspect.

With a solid plan comes direction, matched with the passion you bring to the table. When you align those two traits you start to become better at execution. I have always liked to describe this feeling as treating yourself like the most gentle and effective boss you’ve ever had, because that is the end goal right? Well, you have to start right now! Success doesn’t happen over night just as mastering the process does not. Your passionate plan put into action is execution. Above all else, you have to stick with it and hold yourself accountable. Recall that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re late for work, because you overslept. That feeling is what meeting fear does to you, and also the feeling you should be chasing while going after your goal. When you begin to take your process a little more seriously, by having a plan your outlook also begins to shift. It’s suddenly no longer just an idea; that idea now has a purpose. Most importantly it has an actionable plan. With that in mind you need to set out not only goals but also deadlines to achieve those goals because if you’re acting without constraints, you may begin to lose the wheel on what you started, even with a plan. Setting that deadline, allows you to shoot for completion rather than perfection. Yes, that means ditching the procrastination stage most artists go through. This will ensure execution even if it’s not to your high standards, you will have some substance to get the ball rolling.

“It’s rather easy to allow fear to get the best of us. It’s an essential part of our human complex; one that typically comes with the most negative stigma around it. It’s a simple process to go after your dreams and get over your fears, but make no mistake it is not easy!”

You will want to give up, you will fail at your plan, you will rewrite your plan, again and again and again, it won’t seem quite perfect but you will be surprised at the things that begin to manifest as you are figuring it out. At the end of the day it’s always been about the journey, you just have to rediscover the courage to keep going after it.